Like the doctor who is asked at parties, “Can you look at this growth on my [insert body part]?” I am often asked which camera to buy and if I can take the photos. I like to talk about camera equipment, and if it’s for family, I definitely don’t mind snapping the photos on cellphones thrown my way. However, I am very happy to volunteer one “working off the clock” activity: taking cellphone photos of moms with their kids.

I’m often outside at beautiful locations waiting for my clients to arrive for a family or child portrait session. These picturesque settings attract many families, often solo moms with energetic kids who refuse to participate in a selfie because “THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO, MOM!”

As a mom with three little ones who hate taking photos, I empathize with these moms. Society tells you to treasure these moments because the hoodlums kids grow up so fast. So in an attempt to savor the moment of your kids acting like monkeys on a beautiful day, you grab your cellphone and try to get them to say cheese while looking at the camera. This doesn’t work. So then you turn the phone around in a selfie. With the wide angle lens on the cellphone, you feel hideous but you do your best to gather the kids under your wing and take that darn selfie because MEMORIES ARE BEING MADE HERE.

When I see a scenario like this, I will often swoop in, put my pro camera down and offer to take a photo of the mom and the kids with her cellphone. Suddenly, the mom relaxes and gratefully hands me the phone. I get the kids to laugh and everyone is having a good time when I tap the screen to freeze the moment.

Why aren’t more moms in photos?

Later I think of how few photos I see of moms with their kids on social media. I’m guessing there are two other reasons for this besides the scenario I mentioned above. One, as women in a thin-obsessed culture, moms probably don’t feel that comfortable in their new, less lithe and more fluffy bodies after having kids. We also don’t have the time to devote to our appearances and sleep like we used to and don’t want our messy buns and dark eye circles to reflect back at us in a photo. So rather than on ourselves, we focus the lens on our adorable kids and post those photos instead.

But here’s the problem with excluding ourselves as moms in our family photos; you are erasing the evidence of your existence in photos that will help shape your kids’ memories. Show your kids how much you love and work hard for them by allowing your photo to be taken.

Be proud of your accomplishments as a parent even with dark undereye circles, bellies and double chins. Do runners who finish a marathon balk at having their photo taken? No. Do they look their best? Heck, no. But they are proud of what they just achieved.

Moms, I see you. You’re running the longest marathon of your lives: child-rearing. Wrap your arms around your kids and smile.

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Want to be part of your family photos?

If my words resonate, I’d love to hear from you. It’s my mission to photograph as many moms as possible.

P.S. Stay tuned for my post on dads and photography.